Chapter 2: Know Your Enemy
Hi. I’m sad. But I’m trying.
This week, I want to talk about something I wish I had done sooner: recognizing the voice in your head that doesn’t want you to feel better. The one that tells you this feeling is forever. That you’re not enough. That there’s no point in trying.
Chapter Two of I'm Sad But I'm Trying is titled "Know Your Enemy," and it's the first real campaign in our season-long battle: The Art of War With Yourself.
This isn’t about advice. It’s about survival. And for me, survival began when I started seeing my depression not as a part of me—but as something outside myself. A presence. A parasite. A whispering shadow.
This year, I gave it a name.
Her name is Mia.
Mia has been with me since I was 12. She’s voiceless, pitch-black, always there. She held my hand through loneliness, rocked me through sadness, and curled up with me in quiet, heavy moments. In a twisted way, she felt safe. Familiar. Mine.
But over the years, Mia changed. She got meaner. More manipulative. She isolated me. She hollowed out my self-worth. She twisted my dreams into nightmares. She told me that my efforts were pointless. That I was stuck. That I was broken.
She lied.
And for a long time, I believed her.
But here’s the thing: she’s not me. She’s the voice that doesn’t want me to live—not truly. She’s the antagonist in my mind. The reason I keep trying is because I know, deep down, that we both can’t win. One of us has to go.
So I named her. And naming her gave me a tool.
Because now I can recognize her tactics. Her lies. Her voice. She’s the one who says I’m unlovable. That I’m too much. That I’m nothing. And she’s subtle. She doesn’t shout—she whispers. She sounds like logic. Like realism. Like protection.
But it’s poison in honeyed tea.
So now, I’m inviting you to try something with me.
If you can, try to picture your own depression—not as you, but as something else. Something with shape and texture. Give it a name. A face. A voice.
What does it want from you? What does it get when you stop showing up for your life?
Those are its weapons. Map them. Listen for them. Spot the patterns. And know: you don’t have to fight yet. You just have to recognize the enemy.
Because names have power. And you are not the enemy.
With love from the trenches,
Still sad. Still trying.
Coming Next Week:
Chapter Three: Sneak Attacks
A look into how you can recognize when depression is sneaking back in, and how you can go from the defensive to the offensive.
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